Are we in it to Lead or are we in it to Win? August 26, 2021

There is a flood of hostile action, disparaging opinions, brutal hardship, isolation and tragedy occurring across the globe as I write this - to include American soil. The hottest topic invading the news headlines is “Who really won the war?”.

Each time I read it, I am filled with an uneasy discomfort. My heart is heavy and I’m saddened with this banter which indirectly belittles the lives lost and those who suffer those losses. Have those who made the ultimate sacrifice been merely a bystander to a global infinite game or power struggle?

To say it a different way, do we really have people that believe war has a winner?

“Winning” (outside the context of video games and sports) in my opinion, is a toxic mentality. In fact I used to tell my children, it's not about who wins, it is about having fun and learning. War is not fun, and it shouldn’t be viewed as such. It’s ugly, ruthless and has little propensity for human dignity. Those who have died for our country 20 years ago would be heartbroken...

To have a winner implies that there is a competition. Perhaps that is precisely our epidemic facing global humanitarianism, justice and safety. And, as long as we proceed with this immature mindset of “winning” that involves death of children, hardship, economic loss and a disregard for human dignity - we will never be united in peace.

There was a video posted on twitter today by Secretary Antony Blinken. A conversation with the Prime Minister of Israel. It was a profound demonstration of leadership, respect and tact. Attributes that we once valued as Americans - what happened? How did we get so far off track?

When I joined the Army National Guard in 1998, “leading by example” was a very fundamental virtue to practice. Integrity mattered. Respect mattered. Peace keeping mattered… this whole idea of war as a game and “winning” was the goal did not exist, and ever since it has, we have fallen far from grace as American leaders. In contrast, our leaders have been drinking the manager's kool aid and people have now become material. Like a bad religion I am observing a “win, win, win” sermon that is seemingly toxic… instigating conflict rather than diffuse it.

In my 12 years of service I had the opportunity to work with amazing leaders who taught me how to navigate loss, forging a new strength from hardship or adversity. I was taught that facing adversity and losing with grace was a mere stepping stone in character building of a leader. As winning so often required, getting dirty and/or lowering one’s personal standards; jeopardizing integrity - which was to be one of the pillars we “never quit” defending.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say had the Army not taught me such invaluable lessons, I would not have survived this new America as a civilian/veteran. Especially relocating to areas of our country that are more extreme in ways than they are reasonable.

Personally, I realize I’m no saint. I can be fierce, I can be derogatory, I can be a tomboy and I can shoot a gun. But should that be the goal? No. I don’t like that version of me. Violence should always be the last resort - not the first. When preaching the idea of “win” does that only reinforce the conflict piece of defense, with no regard to tactful and/or tactical deterrence?

I find myself contemplating this deeply over the last week as I read the news and observe the social media reactions. This is why I decided to share these thoughts and mean no disrespect or insubordination to any of my colleagues, comrades or fellow Americans.

Understanding and respecting there will be strong thoughts in argument of this notion. That is ok, and I respect the individual opinions of others, and simply ask for the same in return. This isn’t about finger pointing. This is what I see from where I sit; buried in the mountains on a writer's journey, and an old army leader in transition to the next chapter of life - seeking a way back to the American values I once knew, and did go to war to defend.

Respectfully, Weary Luna (aka in OIF1 “Doc”)